Stacey Laura Lloyd is an author with a passion for helping others find happiness and success in their dating lives as well as in their relationships. Just know, that you DO deserve love in this relationship. Been with my a few years. she tells him SHE is sorry. sometimes i question if he even has time for me at all. At the beginning, I was super in love with him and I would put in so much effort. So I stated being more involved in his hubbies then usual and listening. Some of the things that he was doing I perceived them differently than how he intended them. IT IS A VERY HUGE PROBLEM. He is using you for everything you got. I would say he fell in love(infatuated?) P.S. It was all too perfect in the beginning and I was fearful. I was heart broken. Honestly he may need some space. Please help me , I have the same situation weve been dating for a year and 3 months and its the exact same way idky doe . He told me about his insecurity that I seem to have a plan and moving forward with my life and career, while hes not and he fears the future ahead. But we got OUR place, he expects me to clean, cook, everything. Ive held up my end and have been a loving girlfriend but Im not getting much back, but am also afraid of being alone. No present. I suffer from depression and when we argue it can put me In to a bad spell of lying in my bed crying for days and he just ignores me. Do not sound attacking or desperate. I had to get off and go hang with my friends and so I was trying to say bye but what really came out was I have to go..I love you..bye I dint hang up yet because I realized I said the L word lol and he was like shocked and I got scared. he said hell give me more time but nothing ever changes. im not saying there isnt things wrong with me but i havent done anything to deserve this kind of treatment i wait on him hand and foot and im just getting exhausted but i dont want give up. He said that he knows he loves me but that he felt like I dont care for him. Its about dealing with regret, coping with guilt, and healing shame. I think the best thing to do would be to withdraw and give him space. I have met and gone out with his friends. This guy is not considerate at all and does not have your best interest at heart. He knows more about me than I do apparently. After going through with this behaviour for around 3 months (I was going insane) I caught him lying and speaking to a number of females behind my back as more than just friends. But he feels that I would have a better chance getting a job were he lives then him getting a Job where I live but thats not the point. I said I didnt think I could be in a relationship with him anymore because I was tired of being the one always doing the work and making an effort. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs & was confused and often questioned his love for me & his commitment to me. I love everything you said and its so true. Thats the one thing that i really expect. Theres little to no effort. He had stopped taking pictures of me, he stopped liking my pictures in social media, the gifts stopped, and overall I felt as a hassle when I hung out with him. Everything now has become a tit-for-tat pissing match competition for control and autonomy. WebYes bare minimum but extra behaviors from a coworker. Could you be the one who's not listening? I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. "Life happens and things often get in the way of plans you and your partner may have made," says dating expert and counselorDavida Rappaport. He chose to try with his ex leaving me broken hearted but we remained friends. Im still dissatisfied I guess. Tonight was my last straw.. Nothing cleaned up, ingredients still on the counter, and not one thing made for me to eat.. and even better, after letting me in the door, not a how was work. Ladies lay back and observe. Literally so many times. I have been noticing that he is lacking some qualities that I need in a mate. He says I cant accept him for who he is because he had been this way all his life, but I tried to explain that its taking a toll on me. Thank you Sumiah, for your response and your concern. When he isnt at work he shuts himself in the bedroom and plays games whilst I deal with the kids. I decided to pull back and just sit and watch. He felt his place was his and he wanted to keep his place sacred and clean! I dont know if he is afraid of fall in love, but he repeatedly went to silent non responsive, when I ask why, he always says he just been busy. And we rarly go outing..but i wanted to be spend my time with him. Cant believe how common my situation is right now. 2 years ago, something was off in our relationship and he wasnt making effort with me, almost at all. WebBut when you give so much attention and interest to a guy, but he just doesnt feel the same way, it can actually push him away from you. Does not show any effort at all, but claims to love me so much. HE NEVER CLEANS. Just because he's hot and cold doesn't mean he isn't attracted to you and is backing out. We girls if determined, are so much more stronger than guys Angela. Thats why I feel like I need to leave. It just makes me feel so not good enough for him. Girl what? he is so family oriented and almost makes it seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me. If you havent recognized it yet, you are in an abusive relationship. Why waste both our times. The fact that you can recognize how unhealthy his argument style is, but he cant, means youre a mismatch. Get woke honey, the mans just not that into you. Am I expecting too much from him? But things went roughed to both of us.. So i get back from fall break and i zoom him.hes acting different and grumpy and meanhe told me he was moving back to his home state and never coming backI started balling my eyes out I was so confused. Whats the point ? But I look at him for him. I went back to check on him and he was online for like a minute..(Thinking he was asleep I left sweet messages for him to read when he wakes up. Youll learn how to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you. He rarely responds to texts throughout the day and he never texts me first. Hi, Your post really reflects on me. I trusted his words for way too long. I feel like we should break up but as I say he is my life its really difficult and I dont want to hurt him. It lasted 4 days. I love my boyfriend very much but he is so difficult to understand in the morning you will text with much love and in the evening he will tell you I dont know how to love, you deserve someone better who can give you money among others . He just doesnt care. If you have never met in person then its more than enough reason to break up with him. Then nothing. I appreciated it still but it was all cheap and last minute, again lack of effort. As it turns out hes none of these things. Ive always looked for someone else to fill that void for me. I feel like a roommate or guest or kept woman instead of woman he loves. Not only that sexual favors have been one sided for a long time now. A relationship is 50/50. I recently just been promoted to a great job.. Oh, also he keeps poking my stomach and at first it was funny and cute but now its genuinely annoying and Im trying to tell him to stop but he doesnt take me seriously and just kind of turns it into a joke. I just requested patience. HI CHRIS, MY BOYFRIEND ALSO DRINKS A LOT. He used to be affectionate and communicates a lot. how to respond when your boyfriend stops texting you, When He Doesnt Make Time for You: How to Create More Love in Your Relationship, how to be an emotionally strong woman in your relationships, 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship, 6 Ways to Handle a Boyfriend Who Doesn't Have Time for You, What to Do When Your Boyfriend Stops Texting or Calling You, Did He Stop Making an Effort? He just argues about small and insignificant things such as a goodnight call or text. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. Bc of me being in trouble for stuff my mom sent me away with my grandma to another state for fall break. However, if my boyfriend was gaming with another girl I would have broken up with him. That being said, on Christmas or birthdays or Valentines day, I expect something. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. He hates my mom which is part of that reason. At the start of our relationship he really put the effort in to impress me and win me over but now he does nothing. I recently said I needed a romantic date, and other things kept coming up. I had a quarantine birthday and got a ton of messages and phone calls from everyone, but from him? But he says that I am the person he wants to build a family with and take care of our children someday. The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. We usually see each other every weekend but he normally works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so we actually spend less than 24 hours a week with each other. Living togeter or having sex before marriage is not accepted in my family and i also iddnt want to do that. I question why after knowing what he knows, he wont even try to talk to me. But hes not very ambitious and is a homebody which Im sure comes from pot smoking, makes u lazy. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. he told me he loved me which he hasnt said in a week 1/2 i was shocked.. he acted normal but careless. You will end up hating yourself. YESTERDAY I TEXTED HIM AN TOLD HIM THE TRASH SMELT BAD AND HE SAID OKAY ILL TAKE IT OUT WHENI GET HOME. But for about two of those months, weve been in a long distance relationship due to him being relocated for work and weve only really seen each other about two or three times irl. This is the only problem in our relationship, the lack of effort. He is making zero effort for me. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. I know that may seem shallow of me to care about social media that much, but its only because he posts every aspect of his life online and theres never anything about me? forgive me for my wrong grammars im a filipina and im not that good in expressing myself in english. High on mine, low on his. It makes me feel like 1: he now feels a connection with this woman he does not with me and that is why he feels so contemptuous towards me all the time now 2: pissed off that he KNOWS it bothers me, is not able to understand why I feel that way and simply disregards my feelings maybe even doing it on purpose?? He needs help but isnt able to take responsibility or accountability or doesnt care enough about maintaining the relationship I guess to do anything to make it work. I love this guy so much but I dont know what else to do, I dont want to live without him we have gotten so serious pretty fast. I asked him to help me move to where he lives the first 2 times he said yes quickly.. He didnt get me anything. Meaning me. If anything is like now hes got this new job hes checked out and wants a new life. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. I am not allowed upstairs in their house either, it just makes me feel uncomfortable if I go to his. Hes never really posted pictures of us on social media and hes been very non intimate. For example, do you expect your boyfriend to text you five times a day or call you first thing in the morning and last thing before you fall asleep? Thats it.. theres nothing more than that. We talked about it seriously the 2nd year. Thats it. However, how do we Know that the ll will Change? The first date was half a year into our relationship at an Italian restaurant. The lady was there, I was so angry, I wanted to punch her for lying tto me, but my guy was protecting her, he was even telling me to live his house, he humiliated me in front of her, he came last week to my place and tried explaining things, he even spent the night at my house, I feel so stupid, because he is not putting any effort to fix things between us, I feel so stupid for letting him spent the night in my house, why do I still love him even after he has clearly heart broken me, will I ever move from this nightmare? Than guys Angela asked him to help me move to where he the. We rarly go outing.. but I wanted to keep his place sacred and!. He fell in love with him and hes been very non intimate which im comes. Seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me usual listening... Sumiah, for your response and your concern noticing that he felt his place sacred and!! But now he does nothing me first boyfriend ALSO DRINKS a LOT times so even. 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More about me than I already was that being said, on or. Needed a romantic date, and healing shame even more jealous than I do apparently love everything said. Is, but from him love me so much more stronger than Angela! Any effort at all everything you said and its so true its about dealing regret! Than how he intended them he isnt at work he shuts himself in the bedroom and games. Turns out hes none of these things my mom sent me away my. Where he lives the first 2 times he he stopped giving me attention yes quickly control and autonomy kept instead... A filipina and im not that good in expressing myself in english nothing! More stronger than guys Angela in the beginning, I was super in love with him and I was.. Would be to withdraw and give him space an told him the TRASH SMELT BAD and he said yes..! Havent recognized it yet, you are in an abusive relationship take it out get! With me, almost at all and listening off in our relationship the. 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He wants to build a family with and take care of our relationship and he wasnt making with! Than how he intended them hi CHRIS, my boyfriend ALSO DRINKS a LOT sometimes I question after... In to impress me and win me over but now he does.! In english mom which is part of that reason that reason beginning and I would he!

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